Annoying blog shit you probably love.
Hmm. This is my chance to take shit people put into their blogs and piss on them. If you might be offended....
( Read more... )One I've been seeing a lot that's intriguing to me is this:
I'll be answering it and then commenting at the end.
() skipped school (Prerequisite for all losers: SKIP SCHOOL!)
() seen someone die (Nope. No, I have not seen someone die. Especially not in that back alley on Main St. Nope. And I DEFINITELY have not killed someone. No, Not me.)
() been in love (No, and none of you ever have been either, you can't tell the difference between love and lust and like. SHUT THE FUCK UP you can't truly love until you're older and know more about true feelings, so fuck off. I will get feedback on this, I could care less.)
() been dumped (No. I've also never had a girlfriend. And you thought I was bitter for no reason.)
(x) shoplifted (Once, and since then, I know how to get anything out of a store. Short of a bed or a TV, or something that big...)
(x) been in a fist fight (Yes I have. Very interesting too. Different stories from everyone. The point is, I can kick ass better now. It was once thought impossible.)
() snuck out of your parent's house (No. I don't need to, you see. My mom is cool with a lot of stuff. HA! Your parents SUCK!)
(x) Had feelings for someone who didnt have them back (They're called porno actresses.)
() gone on a blind date (There is no way to describe how stupid blind dates are. FUCK OFF.)
(x) been to Canada (I was too young to remember, but I got the general idea that CANADA KICKS ASS!)
() been to Mexico (No food poisoning for me, thanks.)
(x) been on a plane (more times than you EVER will. HA! You suck.)
() eaten Sushi (no. Seafood is sick.)
(x) been snowboarding (Yeah, during my "Extreme sports" phase. God that was gay.)
() been moshing at a concert (Close. Ever so close to moshing...)
(x) taken painkillers (legally. And illegally. again, very confused time there, fuck off if you think I suck.)
() love someone or miss someone right now (I will kill every last romantic I see if they keep shoving it in my face like this, FUCK THE FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FUCKS.)
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by (Yes, I have time for such mundane things as this.)
(x) made a snow angel (OOH YAAAAY SNOW ANGELS SO MUCH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!)
() had a tea party (*Insane laughing sounds from me* no.)
() flown a kite (Tried, to no avail. Kites are gay.)
(x) built a sand castle (Yes. Yes I have. It had Black Hawks.)
() gone puddle jumping (no. I have jumped in puddles on my WAY to do things, and I still do. Water kicks ass, but fuck making an occasion for it.)
() played dress up (NO.)
() jumped into a pile of leaves (never found one big enough.)
(x) gone sledding (With a deathtrap sled.)
(x) cheated while playing a game (Cheaters never win my ass.)
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xxxxx) been lonely (No further comment)
(x) fallen asleep at school (many times, in fact. During algebra.)
() watched the sun set (nope. Dumbasses.)
(x) felt an earthquake (I'm on- my- way.... to San-Fran-cisco)
(x) touched a snake (in Thailand. You all suck for not going to these places, have I said that before?)
(x) slept beneath the stars (only commies haven't.)
() been tickled (you perverts.)
(x) been robbed (Woohoo! Robbing, yeah!)
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xxxxxxxxxxx) been misunderstood (no further comment)
() petted a reindeer/goat (What the fuck?)
() won a contest (not me. Who needs to anyway?)
(x) had a parent run a red light (all the time.)
() been in a car accident (oh yeah, I love reconstructive surgery.)
() had braces (getting them in a few months. I thought I was an outcast before, look out, fuckers.)
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xxxxxxxxxxx) felt like an outcast (No further comment)
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (It was Ben and Jerry's, come on.)
(x) had a deja vu (Only when there's a glitch in the system.)
() hated the way you look (self-pitying pig fuckers.)
(x) witnessed a crime (it was so cool.)
() squished barefoot through the mud (I just LOVE worms, don't you?)
(x) been lost (Yes. ALL THE FUCKING TIME)
(x) been to the opposite side of the country (Yes. The Antimidwest side. You know it.)
(x) swam in the ocean (in Hong Kong, of all places. Eugh.)
() played cops and robbers (the cops like to molest the robbers, freaks.)
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers (yes)
(x) sung karaoke (not at a karaoke place, but I've been told I kick ass.)
() paid for a meal with only coins (what kind of sick sadist does something like that?)
(x) made prank phone calls (Ha! They're great.)
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (colacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacol
acolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacol
acolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacol
acolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacol
acolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacol
acolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacol
acolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacol
acolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacol
acolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacol
acolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacol
acolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacol
acolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacolacol
acolacolacolacola)
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue (weirdest shit, Illinois apparently has a high acid rain rating. Hmm.)
(x) danced in the rain (If you haven't, you suck.)
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus (Dear Cocksucker, last year I asked for a new bike. How Fucking kind of you to get me clothes and other assorted shit. Are the elves unionizing and you can't afford to make the good stuff anymore? Get me a rocket launcher next year or I'll come up to the north pole myself and beat your fat ass all up and down the ice, okay?)
() been kissed under a mistletoe (heart sinking feeling)
() watched the sun rise with someone you care about (GODDAMMIT THESE QUESTIONS NEVER END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
(x) blown bubbles (lessons are 25 cents)
() made a bonfire on the beach (You suck. all of you)
() crashed a party (I plan on doing so during Highschool and actually bringing GOOD music to these suckfests.)
(x) gone rollerskating (everyone has. But have you gone DISCO SKATING?!?!?!?! I have.)
() had a wish come true (oh, the heartwarming tale of.. NO!)
() worn pearls (fuck off, you sick perverts.)
() ate dog/cat food (sickos!)
(x) sang in the shower (All the time, my friend, and if you don't, you suck cock.)
() have a little black dress (Oh yes. I have a black dress. Very common for guys to wear black dresses, don't you think?)
() had a dream that you married someone (Wow. Even
I'm not that sad. And that's saying something.)
(x) glued your hand to something (tables, my other hand, my cock, you name it, I've done it.)
() got your tongue stuck to a flag pole (This is something that only exists in 'A Christmas Story', a movie from the 80's which is THE BEST MOVIE DISNEY HAS EVER MADE.)
() kissed a fish (REally, do these questions just get more and more perverted?)
() been a cheerleader (nope. DEFINITELY NOT. UH-UH. NOPE. NO WAY.)
(x) sat on a roof top (It's so cool.)
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs (You should do that often.)
() done a one-handed cartwheel (what? Fuck that.)
() talked on the phone for more than 6 hours (Oh my god.... I can't imagine that.)
(x) stayed up all night (fell asleep during the day, but yeah.)
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree (my great-grandma had an apple tree.)
(x) climbed a tree (kind of...)
(x) had a tree house (yeah, but I didn't build it. It came with our last house.)
() are scared to watch scary movies alone (a new level of cowardice.)
(x) believed in ghosts (and I still do, bitch.)
() have more then 30 pairs of shoes (wow. NO)
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say (it's called "what I wear every day".)
(x) pushed into a pool with all your clothes on (lots of fun, it is.)
() broken a bone (not yet. It would be cool though. And painful.)
(x) been easily amused (I always am. You just have been trying the wrong things to amuse me with.)
(x) caught a fish then ate it (not all of it, in fact, barely any because I hate seafood)
() caught a butterfly (no. Just no.)
(x) laughed so hard you cried (YES IT KICKS SO MUCH ASS. You have tears coming out of your eyes from laughter, it's a beautiful thing. Like death or a Primus concert.)
() cried so hard you laughed (hopeless romantics, fuck off.)
(x) cheated on a test (everyone has, and if you haven't, you're lying.)
() have a Britney Spears CD ( I WILL KILL ANYONE THAT DOES)
(x) forgotten someone's name (yes, quite often do I.)
() french braided someone's hair (If I knew how, I'd do myself.)
(x) been to any other countries besides yours (a lot. VERY MANY.)
(x) had serious surgery (what do you consider serious? I'm getting teeth removed in a few weeks, and I had a non-malignant tumor removed from my wrist a few months ago.)
(x) gone out in public in your pyjamas (it rules. Just like 'The Dude'.)
() kissed a stranger>-\
>(done either of these=YOU ARE A WHORE)
() hugged a stranger>-/
() been arrested (no, I don't intend to.)
(x) had alcohol (don't drink regularly though, or ever for that matter. Isolated incident.)
(x) pushed all the buttons on an elevator (HA! You thought you'd get off in a minute? guess again, fuckface!)
(x) swore at your parents (I swear at everyone you motherfucking piece of shit cocksucker.)
() kicked a guy where it hurts (basically anywhere. It hurts if you kick someone no matter where it is, dumbass.)
() been close to love (GODDAMMIT FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
(x) been to a casino (gambling=GOOD)
() skinny-dipped (no such luck.)
() saw a therapist/counsellor (Why? You sad after you got dumped and you can't kill yourself with ibuprofen? Boohoo, bitch.
() done the splits (Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.)
() played spin the bottle (if I tried, everyone would leave. Too risky. ASSHOLES)
(x) gotten stitches (wrist)
() drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour (No, I'm not a complete freak.)
() bitten someone (the lowest form of fighting)
() been to Niagara Falls (it's cool, but no.)
(x) gotten the chicken pox (missed a field trip in 1st grade for it.)
() crashed into a friend's car
(x) been to Japan (for a day or so.)
(x) ridden in a taxi (I lived in Hong Kong for half my life. Of course I did.)
() been fired (I've heard a lot of people get jobs (not paper routes or detassling, JOBS) at 14. It's not illegal, no!)
(x) lied to a friend (I lie to everyone.)
() had a crush on a teacher (perverts.)
() celebrated mardi-gras in New Orleans (no. sadly, no...)
(x) been to Europe (London kicks ass.)
() been to Africa (I'd like to, it'd be cool)
(x) driven interstate (yeah. Who hasn't?)
() been skiing (no thanks.)
() met someone in person from the internet (I'm not that net-nerdish)
() been to a moto-cross show (no, but that gives me an idea...)
() lost a child (nope.)
() had a crush on someone you shouldn't (I hate these relationship questions. Keep reminding me of my failures. I don't mind, no.)
(x) own an ipod (sweet)
() own an mp3 player (iPods have more space and better value for that space.)
() fancy someone on your contact list (no. Just no. That's all I'm saying to relationship questions that don't piss me off exceptionally.)
() kissed a girl (FUCK OFF YOU FUCKERS!~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
() kissed a boy (no desire to, thanks.)
() fainted (not really, have come close to it though.)
() purposely set a part of yourself on fire (wow, real pyros question)
() questioned your heart (no. It's never lied to me before, asshat.)
() been obsessed with post-it notes (what?!)
(x) cried yourself to sleep (I do so all the time.)
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't (again, all the time.)
() jumped off a bridge (suicidal losers.)
() kissed a mirror (Not that desparate yet.)
() been told you're hot by a complete stranger (no, and I'll never be told that by anyone. Truthfully, I mean.)
This isn't totally making fun of them, as you might have noticed, but writing editorials on life and bitching about my romantic life or lack thereof. Here's another one.